Everyday Challenges Library
Memory
What might be happening?
Your child may learn something one day and seem to have forgotten it the next. They may forget instructions, lose belongings or repeat the same mistake.
Why might this be difficult?
Many children with FASD have memory difficulties. They may learn something one day and forget it the next. This is not laziness or defiance.
Three things to try
- 1. Act as their memory: use lists, pictures, alarms and reminders.
- 2. Keep things in the same place every time.
- 3. Repeat and reteach often, and expect to do so.
When to get more help
If memory difficulties are holding back learning, ask the SENCO what support and assessment the school can offer. See your GP if skills seem to be going backwards rather than slowly improving.
Attention
What might be happening?
Your child may drift off during tasks, start lots of things without finishing them, or find it hard to sit and listen for long.
Why might this be difficult?
Attention and executive functioning skills, such as planning, starting and switching between tasks, are often affected in FASD. Tiredness, hunger, worry and noise can make it harder for any child.
Three things to try
- 1. Keep tasks short, with a clear start and finish, and a break in between.
- 2. Clear the space of distractions and keep out only what is needed.
- 3. Help them start the first step together, then step back.
When to get more help
Talk to your GP or the school if attention difficulties are affecting learning, safety or family life. Many children with FASD also have ADHD. A paediatrician can assess this and talk about whether treatment might help.
Following Instructions
What might be happening?
Your child may start well and then stop, do only part of what was asked, or say yes without having understood.
Why might this be difficult?
Following an instruction means listening, understanding, remembering and then acting, often all at once. Good speech can hide difficulties with understanding, so children may seem to understand more than they do.
Three things to try
- 1. Get their attention first, then give one short instruction at a time.
- 2. Show as well as tell, using a picture, a gesture or a demonstration.
- 3. Check understanding by asking them to show you, rather than asking if they understood.
When to get more help
If your child often seems not to hear, ask your GP about a hearing test. A speech and language therapist can assess how well your child understands language. Ask the school or your GP about a referral.
Transitions
What might be happening?
Your child may get upset when it is time to stop an activity, leave the house or move to something new. Changes to plans can lead to big reactions.
Why might this be difficult?
Moving from one activity to the next, or from one place to another, can be very hard. Changes in routine can feel overwhelming.
Three things to try
- 1. Give a warning before each change and use a visual timer.
- 2. Use a now and next board, so they know what is coming.
- 3. Prepare for bigger changes, such as a new class, with photos and visits.
When to get more help
If changes cause distress that stops your child taking part in everyday life, talk to your GP or the school SENCO. Plan big moves, such as a change of school, with the school well in advance.
Sleep
What might be happening?
Your child may take a long time to fall asleep, wake in the night or very early, or seem tired during the day.
Why might this be difficult?
Sleep problems are common in FASD. In one study, about half of children with FASD had sleep difficulties, compared with one in five other children (published research).
Three things to try
- 1. Keep the same calm bedtime routine every night, including weekends.
- 2. Turn screens off well before bed and keep the bedroom dark and quiet.
- 3. If sleep problems carry on, talk to your GP or paediatrician.
When to get more help
See your GP if poor sleep goes on for more than a few weeks or affects daytime life. Mention it if your child snores loudly, gasps or seems to stop breathing in their sleep.
Eating
What might be happening?
Your child may eat only a few foods, forget to eat, overeat, or find it hard to stay at the table.
Why might this be difficult?
Children with FASD may have sensory differences with taste and texture, may not notice hunger or fullness, and may find sitting still at the table hard.
Three things to try
- 1. Keep mealtimes short and at regular times, with small portions.
- 2. Offer a familiar food alongside anything new, with no pressure to try.
- 3. Plan regular snacks, as hunger can quickly lead to big feelings.
When to get more help
See your GP or health visitor if you are worried about weight or growth, if your child eats a very small range of foods, or if they often choke, gag or find swallowing hard. A dietitian or speech and language therapist may be able to help.
Washing and Hygiene
What might be happening?
Your child may avoid washing, miss steps such as rinsing, or get upset about hair washing, teeth brushing or nail cutting.
Why might this be difficult?
Washing involves many steps in the right order, and some children dislike the feel of water, towels or toothpaste.
Three things to try
- 1. Break the task into picture steps, and stick them up in the bathroom.
- 2. Use a timer or a song so they know when to stop.
- 3. Choose products they like the feel and smell of.
When to get more help
If washing or dressing causes a lot of distress, an occupational therapist can help with sensory needs and daily living skills. Ask your GP, the school or your local children’s services how to get a referral.
Friendships
What might be happening?
Your child may be very friendly but struggle to keep friends, play better with younger children, or be easily led by others.
Why might this be difficult?
Children with FASD are often friendly and want to fit in, but may miss social cues, be easily led or struggle with sharing and turn-taking.
Three things to try
- 1. Practise social skills in real situations, such as short, planned play dates.
- 2. Supervise closely, especially with older children or online.
- 3. Talk about what good friends do, using clear and simple rules.
When to get more help
Talk to the school if your child is being left out, bullied or taken advantage of. Get help straight away if you think someone is exploiting or grooming them, online or in person. Call 999 if a child is in immediate danger. See Urgent help.
Emotional Regulation
What might be happening?
Your child may go from calm to very upset quickly, find it hard to calm down, or have big reactions to small things.
Why might this be difficult?
Many children with FASD find it hard to manage big feelings, especially when tired, hungry or overloaded. But not every difficulty is caused by FASD. Pain, poor sleep, worry, past experiences and other conditions can all play a part.
Three things to try
- 1. Look for early signs and lower demands before things build up.
- 2. Use few words and a calm, low voice when your child is upset.
- 3. Practise calming strategies when your child is calm, so they become familiar.
When to get more help
See your GP if outbursts are getting more frequent or severe, if your child is hurting themselves or others, or if there is a sudden change in mood or behaviour. If anyone is at risk, see Urgent help.
School Attendance
What might be happening?
Your child may complain of tummy aches or headaches on school days, refuse to get ready, or become very upset before or after school.
Why might this be difficult?
School can be tiring and overwhelming. Children may hold things together during the day and let go at home. Worries about work, friendships, noise or changes can all make it harder to go.
Three things to try
- 1. Talk to the school early, and ask for a meeting with the class teacher or SENCO.
- 2. Ask for a gentle start, such as being met by a key adult or a quiet arrival.
- 3. Keep mornings calm and predictable, with a picture routine.
When to get more help
If your child is missing school or finding it very hard to go, ask the school what support can be put in place, and write down what is agreed. Your local SEND information and advice service can help if you are stuck. See your GP if anxiety or physical symptoms are part of the picture.
Safety
What might be happening?
Your child may run off, go with strangers, take risks or forget safety rules they seemed to know.
Why might this be difficult?
Children with FASD may not see danger, may be very trusting of strangers and may find it hard to learn safety rules. They often need more supervision than others their age.
Three things to try
- 1. Teach safety rules in a simple, concrete way, and practise them often.
- 2. Agree a list of safe adults your child can go to for help.
- 3. Use parental controls, and supervise time online.
When to get more help
Get help straight away if your child goes missing, is being exploited or is at risk from others, online or in person. Call 999 in an emergency. If you have a social worker, tell them. See Urgent help.
Independence
What might be happening?
Your child may need more help than others their age with everyday tasks, such as dressing, money, travel or managing time.
Why might this be difficult?
Children with FASD often develop unevenly. They may be at their age level in some areas and much younger in others. Independence skills usually need more teaching, more practice and more time.
Three things to try
- 1. Teach one skill at a time, in small steps, in the place where it will be used.
- 2. Do it together first, then step back slowly as they get more confident.
- 3. Keep using support, such as checklists and phone reminders, rather than removing it too soon.
When to get more help
An occupational therapist can help with daily living skills. As your child gets older, start planning early for adulthood, including money, travel, work and support from adult services. Ask the school or your local authority what help is available.
More Everyday Topics
Mornings
What might be happening?
Mornings may often end in rushing, arguments or a late start, even when your child knows the routine.
Why might this be difficult?
Mornings ask a lot: many steps, a deadline and often a change from home to school. Memory and planning difficulties make this hard.
Three things to try
- 1. Use a picture checklist in the order things happen, and tick off each step.
- 2. Get clothes, bag and shoes ready the night before.
- 3. Allow more time than you think, and give one instruction at a time.
When to get more help
If mornings are a battle most days, look at sleep first and talk to your GP if sleep is poor. Ask the school whether a gentler start could help.
Impulsivity
What might be happening?
Your child may act before thinking, grab things, interrupt, or break a rule they can tell you about.
Why might this be difficult?
FASD can affect the parts of the brain that help us stop and think. Your child may know a rule but not be able to follow it in the moment.
Three things to try
- 1. Supervise more than you would expect for their age, and plan ahead for risky situations.
- 2. Practise a simple stop, think, do routine when calm.
- 3. Change the environment, for example by putting tempting things away.
When to get more help
Talk to your GP or paediatrician if impulsive behaviour puts your child or others at risk. ADHD can occur alongside FASD and can be assessed. If anyone is in danger, see Urgent help.
Homework
What might be happening?
Homework may often lead to arguments, tears or refusal, especially after a long day.
Why might this be difficult?
After a long day at school, many children with FASD are tired and overloaded. Homework can quickly lead to conflict.
Three things to try
- 1. Agree with school how much homework is reasonable. Less is often better.
- 2. Do it at the same time and place each day, after a snack and a break.
- 3. Use a timer for short bursts of work, with breaks in between.
When to get more help
If homework leads to distress most nights, ask the school to reduce it or change how it is set. This is a reasonable adjustment that many schools will agree to.
Before I leave the house
Ready to work
Listening steps
Now and next
My bedtime routine
Mealtime
Shower time
Being a good friend
How am I feeling?
Getting to school
Keeping safe
Making a snack
My morning routine
Stop, think, do
Homework steps
Last reviewed: November 2026 by Dr Inyang Takon, Consultant Neurodevelopmental Paediatrician. For information only. This page does not replace advice from your own doctor.